Rules For Dating My Daughter

Even though shes far from ready to start dating at the age of 10, I must prepare myself. After much pondering, I've come up with a few rules which can and WILL be amendedend before that day comes. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not look at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. I understand that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." And Finally: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Thank You. P.S. Remember this list can and WILL be amended right here in the near future. SO BACK OFF PUNK!!!