Welcome WEIO

GOOD MORNING ALASKA...AND ESPECIALLY A VERY GOOD MORNING TO ALL THE NATIVE ATHLETES WHO ARE HERE COMPETING IN THE WORLD ESKIMO-INDIAN OLYMPICS. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY HOW REFRESHING IT IS TO KNOW THAT A GROUP OF PEOPLE FROM ACROSS THE STATE,AND THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE HERE SHOWING THE REST OF US TRADITIONAL NATIVE AND INDIAN SPORTING EVENTS THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON KNOWS LITTLE ABOUT. AND THE GREATEST PART OF ALL OF THIS. NO STEROID USE. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT INDIAN JOE KNUCKLE HOP HAS NOT SHOT HIS ASS WITH ROIDS IN ORDER TO BOUNCE HIS BARE BONES ON THE ARENA FLOOR ANY FASTER THAN HIS NATIVE COUNTER PARTS. YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT SALLY KOLIKWOCK'S BIG GIANT HEAD THAT GREW FOUR SIZES LAST YEAR AS SHE PULLS THE EARS OFF HER DRUG FREE EAR TUGGIN' FOES. KICKING A SEAL NAD SACK TIED TO A STRING DOES NOT REQUIRE HUMAN GROWTH HORMONES. AND TO ME, THAT'S A GOOD THING. BLUBBER BALL, WHALE RACING AND THE TWO MAN SEAL TOSS ARE DRUG FREE..IT'S ALL PURE NATIVE AND INDIAN ATHLETICISM. EVEN THE WORLD RENOWNED SALMON GUT MASTICATOR BARRY BONDSIGIK IS LOOKED UPON AS A HERO AS HE TRIES TO BREAK HAMMERIN' HANK ARRONOK'S HOME CHUM RECORD. HOW A GUY CAN KNOCK BACK THAT MUCH CHUM IS BEYOND ME, BUT I SAY..GO GET 'IM BARRY BONDSIGIK. I LIKE THE BOBBLE HEAD'S AT THE WEIO...SURE THEY'RE NOT THE TRADITIONAL BOBBLE HEADS WE GUSSIKS ARE USED TO..BUT NATIVES WITH WEAK NECK MUSCLES JUST LETTIN' THERE NOGGINS BOUNCE LIKE BALLS OF SILLY PUDDY...MAKES ME SMILE. SO GOOD LUCK ATHLETES, MAY YOU KICK THOSE COD LIVER BALLS OF BEAVER V%$##@S HIGHER THAN EVER BEFORE. MAY YOUR KNUCKLES HOP LIKE SHORT LEGGED MEN WITH CLUB FEET, AND A WRIST WATCH ON THEIR ANKLE. AND MAY THE SEAL SKIN HAMMOKS YOU REST IN BE FULLY DRY SO THAT WHEN YOU LAY IN THEM YOU DON;T GET GUTS AND BLOOD ON YOUR BACK THAT WILL EVENTUALLY DRY AND HARDEN AND LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A COAT OF BLOODY MUCUS THAT WILL CHIP OFF YOUR CARIBOU PARKA LIKE SOME SORT OF ALIEN ABORTION THAT SOMEHOW EXPLODED ON YOUR BACK...........BUT I DIGRESS. MOST OF ALL...MAY THE SPIRIT OF COMPETITION AND FELLOWSHIP, AND A SPECIAL PRIDE THAT YOU , AS NATIVE ALASKANS, AND MEMBERS OF YOUR INDIAN TRIBE SHARE, GUIDE YOU OVER THESE NEXT FEW DAYS.